NO GODS BUT MY OWN 03
Untangling The Tangle
INVISIBLE COUNCIL
I abandoned all my friends back when I was young. Their names and faces are as lost to the fog of time as the reasons why I left them behind. What I do know is that they deserved better than the cold, sharp severance of intimacy they received.
They were always there for me when I was lonely.
They comforted me when I was scared.
Most of them weren’t human.
Some of them couldn’t even speak.
There were so many of them that I can’t remember all the details.
They were my imaginary friends and I left them behind as most of us do as we get older.
I spent a lot of my time alone back in those days. The closest town was fifteen miles away, my parents both worked full time, and my brother preferred the company of his Super Nintendo to that of his little brother. My parents house was on a ten acre lot filled with virgin forest and swampland. Growing up in the country made it hard to find friends and meet people so my only real alternative was to create them.
I did what anyone in that level of isolation would do and found companionship however I could. My life was populated with possibly HUNDREDS of these imaginal beings. There were dog people, robots, anthropomorphized home appliances, and a few run-of-the-mill humans. Looking back on it now I’m amazed at how I could keep track of all of them. My favorites had plush or plastic avatars that carried around with me everywhere and it’s probably why I remain so fond of toys and knickknacks to this day. If you dig through some of the junk at my parents’ house in Minnesota you’ll likely find stories of our adventures, transcribed by my mom on her typewriter and illustrated by me in crayon.
I hadn’t really given my imaginary friends much thought until recently, when my son started to play with his own. Right now he sticks mostly to the characters from his favorite movies, reenacting his favorite scenes and making up some of his own. He takes it very seriously. The characters are just as real to him as my wife and I and he can spend his entire day with them.
That’s some powerful magic right there.
It got me thinking that it might be time for us to reevaluate the idea of imaginary friends, bringing the phenomenon into our adult lives and hopefully bringing a new sense of playfulness along with it.
From a certain perspective non-corporeal forms like imaginary friends are already a large part of many peoples lives, spiritually and creatively. People pray and pay tribute to unseen beings every single day. Writers and artists channel the voices of imaginal beings in their novels, movies, and music. The barrier separating art and spirituality from the concept of imaginary friends is incredibly thin, easily blurred, and there are far more commonalities than there are differences.
One of the main points of contrast is intention. In both creative and spiritual manifestation entities are summoned for express purposes, making the relationship purely transactional. With the imaginary friend the only intention is companionship or council. It takes a great deal of both will and faith to conjure up an autonomous being from the imaginal realm. It's understandable to want something in return for doing that. Like in all other magical workings, it's VERY important to be honest about your motives. If you want a friend then summon a friend but if you want something else then you would probably be better served by summoning up something more traditional.
Another contrast is the matter of legitimacy. An imaginary friend is viewed as delusional and immature while egregores, spirits, and familiars are considered legitimate magical practice with plenty of theory and literature to support their pedigree. To many practitioners, magic is serious work done seriously and there is no place for play in that. I argue that anyone with that view probably hasn't spent much time around children and seen how effortlessly they can change their realities. Play is POWERFUL and work doesn't have to be laborious.
There’s also the pressure for us to leave childish things behind as we grow older and for many the idea of returning to playfulness may bring with it a great deal of stigma. It's embarrassing to play pretend in the world of adults. I come from a small, conservative town and my father is one of the most stoic men I've ever known so this hurdle has been difficult to get over.
I bring up these challenges upfront because it's surprisingly difficult to get beyond the static and tune into the space where these imaginal beings might reside. For me it feels counterintuitive and uncomfortable to bring myself back to the mindset that allowed me to interact with an imaginary friend fully and honestly. There's a twinge of self-consciousness with every attempt that makes the work all that more difficult. There are years upon years of disengagement and distance between the adult version of myself and the child that didn't care about the opinions of others and could just PLAY.
This is why you won’t find instructions on how exactly to summon an imaginary friend. I don’t have any and I don’t think I could make them universal enough to fit every situation everyone has dealt with. Finding your own imaginal beings is truly up to you. You have to find the technique that fits best to get past your own hang-ups and insecurities that might come with childish play.
Even with those drawbacks I feel that manifesting and maintaining relationships with imaginary beings could be just as important to adults as it is for young children if given the chance. In fact, the imaginary friend can take on new levels of complexity with the mental faculties available to adults. They can be complex and nuanced constructs that could fill niches otherwise left empty in our more mundane social lives. The only confines exist in YOUR imagination, your skill in operating the aperture between yourself and the imaginal realm.
I have to admit that I didn’t see myself advocating for adults to conjure up imaginary friends as I near my forties but the idea is quite compelling. Making friends has only become more difficult as I get older and my time gets more capitalized by things like my family and art. Finding imaginal beings to fill the times when I feel lonely or long for a connection that my family can’t quite satisfy has become a tempting alternative.
Perhaps they’re only psychic wind-up toys meant for entertainment or maybe they’re emissaries from the imaginal realm. Whichever it may be, it might be time to experiment and see what kind of new friends we can make.
THE TANGLE
Lord of Complication
Mass of Complexity
The Tangle is the manifestation of anxiety and over-complication. Where a straight line would be best, The Tangle creates a knot of curves and switchbacks. This living maze is a master of crooked paths and how to find a way through.
It is best to appeal to The Tangle when you need guidance exploring a challenging path. Who better to illuminate a convoluted path than a living maze?
An easy ritual for calling The Tangle involves taking a single yard of string or twine, twisting it into a knotted ball, and then working to untangle it. As you work to unravel the mass of string repeat this simple chant:
The twisted path is straight to some
Confusion burdens paths to come
HOMEWORK?
The new version of my dice oracle The Impossible Game comes out next month through Microcosm Publishing. There’s been a slight change in format but it’s otherwise the same idiosyncratic oracular device.
Beyond that it's been a slow news month so in lieu of updates I want to propose a homework assignment for everyone.
I want you to make your own imaginary friend and spend the next couple weeks hanging out with them. It doesn't have to be complicated but it has to be its own being that exists outside of yourself. By that I mean they have their own voice and personality. When you have conversations, preferably out loud, they speak with their own voice.
Here's an example of what I'm talking about:
Like any other skill, this one will take practice. It's why I want you to keep it simple. Trying to make a friend that's too complicated right off the bat will only lead to frustration.
If being more conscious of what you pull from the imaginal realm is a form of creative conservation then this exercise is getting to know the locals. We're only tourists in that place. THEY live there.
I'll be playing along and sharing my results in an upcoming installment of NGBMO. I'd also like to feature anyone willing to share their results in future newsletters.
Thank you to everyone reading this. These newsletter are a real labor of love and your continuing support is appreciated more than I can ever express.
EJM